Questions in the Night
by beyond-reason
Summary: AF takes place with darla, I think it will be a one shot. Faith & Angel


This is the story, it is weird and ends weird. I think this will just be a one-shot.

The wind kisses my face and slowly takes over my whole body. I'm on the roof again. Before dawn comes I come up here and just sit and watch the world below. The passing of nearby cars becomes a faint buzzing and fades into the night sky. I wish I could do that. Just disappear into the night sky, but no. No one will let me. I turn and go back into the hotel. Angel needs to be checked up on again. It's not that I don't trust him anymore, he's practically my everything. That's a sad thing to hear but it's the truth. I look in the door that leads to his room slowly and carefully not to attract his attention.

He is sitting there quietly drawing again. Always drawing pictures. Of her. His beautiful one. His dear one. His Darla. She came back to his life like a rock being thrown into a lake. It sent ripples out in every direction. Ripples that pushed his friends away. Then I was thrown out of prison by the powers that be, and I landed right next to him. No reason or explanation given why I was released. Just the friendly we are the "Powers That Be" and we used are power to get you out of prison enjoy the rest of your life.

Jackasses.

I was on my way here when I ran into Wesley on the street. He had boxes with him. I told him what had happened and that I had come looking for Angel and him. He just looked at me weird. Then he told me what happened. Darla had come back along with Drusilla, and Angel had kicked Cordelia, Gunn and himself out. I was going to just leave. If he didn't want his friends near him why would he want me there? But Wesley told me to go in. Angel needed someone near him to keep him from losing his mind completely.

How could I get through to him?

Wesley just gave me an odd smile. He just said, "You're not like anyone else to him, your Faith."

Every week I go to their new detective office downtown. I like talking to Gunn, he makes me smile. Wesley is the only on who brings up Angel, and that's only to make sure he hasn't done anything stupid, and that's only when the others aren't there.

I never let Angel know I went there to see them. If he knew they accepted me he would make me leave to go to them. When I first came here he didn't really want me to stay. He wanted to me away like the others so he could be alone with his thoughts of Darla. He didn't say it but I knew. I couldn't let that happen. I put up some fake tears and acted vulnerable and knew he'd let me stay. One thing you can always say about Angel, no matter how cold he gets, he can never resist a damsel in distress. Not even one that has repeatedly tried to kill him, tortured his friends, and could snap the heads off most people like she could snap a twig. That's my Angel.

He doesn't really say much. He just stays in his rooms and makes pictures of Darla, then goes out to kill demons. He makes a comment to me if we run into each other in the hall.

I would give anything for the attention he gave me all those nights ago. When he held me when I cried. I had thought it was annoying at the time. Now I want it back. I don't let him know that. I'd slit my throat first.

Besides, he cares about Darla now. Not me. Never again me. If it came to it he would kill me before he'd kill Darla, and I know it. And I love him.

I can at least admit that to myself now. I love him. I want to die because of it. He's Buffy's. Or maybe Darla's. It doesn't matter. Whatever the case there is a blonde golden girl in it somewhere. I try not to look at him. Just check up on him and make sure he's okay. Besides that I try not to think about how I feel. But then, who can decide what they dream? Every night it's either a nightmare or him, both cause me emotional pain when I wake up.

I'm thinking about it again. I have to get out of here.

The club is filled with men that stare at me as I pass. It makes my skin crawl. I want their blood to cover my hands. But that's only for a moment, and only because I'm angry. Part of me wishes Angel was here so I wouldn't be alone. But lately being with him and being alone are the same thing. I miss the Angel I used to know, but he's gone now. Doesn't matter, he didn't want me anyway. I sit at the bar. I'm not old enough to get a drink. No problem. The man next to me buys me a drink.

We talk for a while. He touches my hand. Someone is watching. Probably some other guy in the bar. Or maybe this guys girlfriend. They're all alike. I keep wishing Angel was here so they would all leave me alone.

This guy is cute. A year or so ago I would have gone with him. Happy for the attention. Happy to feel something again. Anything. Now I just want that one thing that I can't have. It's not a big deal; it isn't to anyone else anyway.

I want him to go away. I inch away a little. I shouldn't have come here. He moves toward me. His voice is quieter somehow as if to calm me. Like I'm some kind of animal with its head down backing away from a would-be predator. For a moment I want to show him that I'm the predator. I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing. That's just for a moment. I let the moment go.

Before I can say anything his cell phone rings. He turns to turn it on and says hello. I get up and walk away and walk out the door. I look at my watch I've been out for half an hour. So what? Why don't I just stay out for another eight hours? No one will care. No one will notice.

I walk out. I'm one my way back to the hotel that is now my prison and my home. I look around the street as I go. There are people everywhere. There are some with small children. It's not late. Maybe a little after nine. I feel someone watching me again. I slow a little. Who is watching me? I sense something supernatural near me. I let my body tense. If there is going to be a fight this is sure a crowded place to do it. I stop completely and let myself be utterly still. It's right behind me now. I turn slowly as if to say I know your there.

Now in front of me there is a woman. Blonde hair like the noon sun. Eyes blue and pale. She looks delicate and shines with some sort of purity that I can't name. She is the exact opposite of me. She reminds me of Buffy. They're presence; the air around them is the same, only this one has it in a slightly different way. Bu that doesn't change it.

I've never seen this woman before in my life, but I've seen her face. Hundreds of times. Drawn in everyway in every decade of the past 200 years. She is Darla, and Angel loves her. I don't want to be here. I let my face show no emotion. No sign of anything. To everyone else it looks as though I feel nothing. I feel everything, but I'll keep that to myself.

The woman I already know as Darla smiles. A confident smile. A smile of superiority, of smugness, of snobbery, of some sort of wicked amusement, and slightly, as if to throw me off, child like but all the while it looks sweet. Poisonous chocolate. I say nothing. My eyes are still like stone. I show nothing. I am what I've made myself to be.

"So you're our little Faith." She states sweetly all the while it drips with death.

I stay the same. That isn't something she expected me to do. She try's not to let it show but I can tell.

"Your Angel's Faith. The rouge slayer. The street girl. The betrayer. The murderer. And let's not forget the convict." She says cool and bittersweet. The words are meant to sting. They might sting someone else but not me. I've heard them so many times, they're as dull as a spoon.

I stay the same. She is getting annoyed now she wants me to do something. Anything so she can use it against me.

I know. That's what I used to do.

I turn and just walk away. I could try to kill her now, but I'm tired and she is old and experienced and the street around us is full of innocent people. If there is a fight someone is going to get hurt or killed. I can't let that happen.

Besides she doesn't want to kill me, this one is more like Angelus, she wants to see me suffer.

I just keep walking behind me she is annoyed. Good.

I just keep walking toward the hotel, but she's next to me again.

"What is it about you? He's gotten rid of the others. Why not you? Is it because he doesn't care? Because your part of the darkness why protect you form it?"

She knows Angel better then anyone. She knows why he's letting me stay. I just wish she'd tell me instead of trying to fill my head with tormenting thoughts.

I look at her. We're both still for a second. Then I punch her. First in the stomach then in the nose. She gives a cry of pain and backs off a little and I walk away as fast as I can before she can recover.

I enter the main lobby. I want to go in my room and lay there as long as I can. I look up to see Angel at the bottom of the steps. Black shirt and pants with his black duster that he wears so often. He looks right into my eyes. He always looks right into my eyes. I want to kiss him. He's looking at me funny. Funny is the only way can describe it because I can't really describe it. He also looks surprised to see me.

He takes a few steps toward me. Something in his face changes when he gets closer. In darkens in a way.

"She was near you."

I already know who he's talking about.

"What happened?" he asks looking me up and down. I take this to mean plainly, since you're here and unhurt so you most have done something to my Darla.

"I ran into her on the street. She tried to bother me and I left."

"Without a fight?" He asks as if he can't believe I could walk away from anything without pounding it with my fists first. I know he doesn't mean it, but it hurts coming from him.

"Yeah, I guess that's a little hard to believe isn't it." I say it outright. My voice is as hard and cold as I can make it. I walk quickly by him and go up the stairs as fast as I can. I can feel him staring at me.

I want to hide. I don't look back.

I sit in my room drawing pictures of her again. I don't know why. I can't stop it. I feel some one looking at me, it's Faith. Checking up on me again. She leaves right away. She seems to be avoiding me. That hurts a little but that goes away when I remind myself that I haven't really been a person anyone wants to be around. She's going out again. I wait until I hear the front door shut. I get up and get me coat. And go quickly after her. So I can follow her and she won't notice.

I do this every time she goes out. I have to follow.

I don't worry about her hurting anyone. I worry about someone hurting her. Touching her in a way that she doesn't like. Looking at her. Following her. Not leaving her alone.

She could fight them off herself but she's too afraid that she'll go back to the way she was. She would do nothing, just to make sure she didn't go back to that, even if it meant her getting hurt. She's vulnerable this way.

That terrifies me. I have to make sure she's safe. I have to make sure she's not trying to hurt….herself.

Over the past few weeks I've watched in dance clubs and try not to stare at every gentle sway she makes and curve that shows when she dances and men go near her. I've watched her go into the park to sit on a bench alone. I've watched her go to restaurants and eat alone. I've watched her trying on clothes, trying not to look at herself in the mirror. She hates looking at herself. When she does her face sinks. I wish she could see how beautiful she really looks.

Tonight she ends up at a bar. By herself all over again. I want to go and sit next to her make sure she never has to feel alone, but I can't do that. I can't have her being attached to me. She'll only get hurt. Like everyone else.

Some guy sits next her. He buys her a drink. I want to hurt him. I already know what he wants. The only thing he wants. I try to relax myself. Faith will push him away, just like all the others.

She doesn't. She talks to him. Gives him a smile. I can feel myself getting angry.

'So what? She's talking to some guy. She should be able to. She's probably only doing it because she's lonely. She doesn't have anyone to talk to. I know what that's like she should talk to someone.'

Minuets pass and I get more and more agitated and annoyed. Leave her alone.

Faith, make him go away!

Why? So it's just you watching Faith again? So Faith is only yours? So only you get to look at her?

I turn away and start to walk away from the building. Because I know it's true. No matter how cold I treat her. I want to be the only one to see her, the only one that can hear her voice, to watch her smile. And I know how selfish that is, especially with the way I treat her.

I continue to walk. Faith deserves some happiness. I can't make her happy, I shouldn't try to keep her from being happy.

I walk down a deserted street and a familiar scent raps itself around me.

Darla.

She's in front of me now. Like magic.

"My dear sweet boy." She says with that smile only she can give. "Checking up on your precious girl?"

That makes me jump slightly. I can't let her near Faith. Faith should not be dragged into this.

"This has nothing to do with her. Leave her alone."

"Oh, but this has everything to do with her. What is it about her? Her pretty dark eyes? Her silky luscious body? Or is it her dirty mind?"

"Don't talk about her." Angel said his voice almost deadly calm.

"No. Let's." she says continuing. "Why do you drive everyone else away when you keep her so close? What is it about this one girl? She's a far cry from that cheerleader you liked so much. From me. So what is it about her?"

"She has nothing to do with this. If you go near her…"

"Oh, you'll what?"

"I'll kill you." The truth was he wanted to kill her right now. Just for mentioning her name. Kill her how though? She's a strong fighter. And there is nothing around to kill her with.

"Yes." She says laughing. "I'm sure you will." She turns around and laughs as she leaves. This is not good.

I continue walking and return to the hotel. As soon as I get there I start walking up the steps. But then I hear the door open behind me and I look to see Faith. I don't smile even though I'm happy to see her. Though I think she looks more and more beautiful every passing second.

I'm ashamed to say I'm surprised to see her. I thought that she would have stayed with that idiot at the bar. I should have known better.

I start to walk toward her. It goes against my original plan to stay away but I can't help it. I want to spend the rest of the night talking to her.

As I get closer I catch the faint scent of another vampire. I female vampire. One I know. One called Darla. She was near her. She was going to hurt Faith.

"She was near you."

Faith stays still looking into my eyes but doesn't do anything.

"What happened?" I look her up and down. I have to make sure she's okay. That there isn't a scratch on her body.

"I ran into her on the street. She tried to bother me and I left."

"Without a fight?" Neither Faith nor Darla seems like the type to just talk things out, especially with each other.

"Yeah, I guess that's a little hard to believe isn't it."

Faith runs past me as fast as she can. I stare after her completely confused. What did I say? I open my mouth to say something, but I don't know what.

"I'm sorry."

But she's already gone. Great.

She loved being completely naked even though that sounded weird and most people would take her saying it the wrong, very wrong way. After all nudity is are natural state. Nothing human made, just yourself. Your skin. You can look in a mirror and see just you. You can look at yourself and judge yourself, just you. Not anyone telling what they like or don't like. Your bare and your thoughts are bare. A world of chaos and suddenly it's just you

She sat in the deep bath tub and let the water rush over her.

She hugged her legs to her chest. She wished there was someone with her. There wasn't. Of course there wasn't. What did she expect?

She never had anyone. The people she did have now were Wesley, Gunn, and Angel.

Gunn barely knew her and she was just a replacement for his little sister he lost. Wesley she's tortured practically to death and now matter how friendly he seemed she could tell by that look in his eye he thought she could snap at any given moment.

Angel….what? Thought she was what? Nothing good. All she did was cause problems for him.

She gripped herself harder. She wanted to dissolve into nothing, let her melt like thawing snow. She wanted to not exist, she wanted to never to exist. She wanted to be left alone, or have someone close. Just have something, or be nothing. Or to have nothing or be something. That didn't make sense. Shit. Maybe she was crazy.

But she couldn't have either. She moved her position so instead of sitting she was lying down. The water was still warm and there was steam rising keeping the air warm.

She could just stay this way. For a little while at least. She could have that.

Angel leaned against the door outside Faith's bathroom listening to the water. He could wait. He could wait. He wanted to wait until she got out. He wanted to know what was wrong. He went over and sat on the bed and starred at the door.

He heard the water stop. And some foots steps. She'd becoming out any moment. The door open and Faith walked out wearing a towel. She gripped it tighter to her. She seemed to back away a little.

They just looked at each other not really saying anything.

"What is it? Did something happen?" she asked confused.

"No. I…..just wanted to see what was wrong."

Silence.

"Before, you ran off."

"Yeah" she said still not moving. Her stillness was like something out of an old photograph.

"Are you going to tell me why?"

"Angel I don't think I don't want to…." It sounded like she was going to say something more but didn't.

"Faith." He leaned forward a little and held out his hand just enough. She walked over and sat down next to him on the bed and put her head on his shoulder.

"What's wrong Faith?" he asked resting his head on top of hers.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Faith, are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Will you talk about it…eventually?"

"Yeah maybe in eventually." She said cuddling deeper into his side.


End file.
